iLobolo

The first critical question is Why Lobola? Lobola is not the way we are taking it today and it was never meant to be what we are thinking of today. 

Ilobolo is cattle (regardless of number) paid by umkhwenyana for his umakoti. It is various cattle with their specific names and functions paid to the father and also to the mother of their daughter.

These cattle are a sign of pride and showing that ‘your daughter will never starve when she joins the family.’ It is ubumnumzane of the umkhwenyane’s father, that we are not that poor. Secondly, it is a token to the Amathongo (ancestors) that isibaya is growing, and as it grows it will create strong umuzi for them (amathongo). That is why these cows have various names and meaning. They are as follows:

·         Ubikibiki – This cow is given to the mother by umkhwenyana.

·         Ubhaqa – The cow given to the umakoti’s father in order to light the way

·         Umqholiso/Ingquthu – The cow given to the mother of umakoti.

·         Umumba – Cow also given to the Makoti’s mother, but part of the ilobolo

·         Imvulamlomo/Ingqaqhamazinyo – cow given to the father in order for him to talk to the abakhongi (people sent to pay lobola)

·         Imvula – is the cow that gets mentioned first before even paying the ilobolo.

·         Unozungeza – Part of ilobolo

·         Inhlabisamthimba – the cow that gets slaughtered on the wedding day

·         Isibhoma – cow that also get slaughtered on the wedding day.

·         Ibheka – additional cow.

(Remember that these cows in some other areas are all collectively called AMABHEKA)

The other two cattle just accompany these cows; hence we say (Umakoti akaqedwa). That is why people do not pay all the ilobolo, because of the belief that one day umkhwenyana will be of help to the family (umkhwernyana isiphuzi sokuhquzula)

ILOBOLO PROCESS

Ilobolo is a two way process. It is the process governed by the amathongo, as the belief is that to have people coming and initiate ilobolo is a gift from the ancestors. Umakoti is a gift to umkhwenyana and his family to such an extent that the belief is that umakoti is not yours as umkhwenyana but is for your father. Also on the side of umkhwenyana, you are unmkhwenyana of the izalukazi zase mzini.

Ilobolo is an issue between the two families. The first person who happens to know that there will be abakhongi (representatives from the umkhwenyana) coming, is the mother of the daughter. The father is always kept in the dark all the time. He will see people sweeping the yard, doing all the cleaning, but he will never ask.

On that selected day, abakhongi will arrive early in the morning and shout at the gate by saying ‘sizocela isihlobo esihle’. It will be then where the father will know for the first time. But, even though, he will never attend to those people alone, but will call his brothers, and the neighbours to come and listen. When abakhongi are shouting they will be mentioning these cows, by their size, their gender and their colors. When inside the house they will be asked to repeat what they have been saying.

The first cow that will be requested will be iMvulamlomo for the father. It is only then when the father will start talking. The father will call all his daughters and ask the abakhongi to point at the woman, once that is done, and then negotiations will start.

The elders will carry this work until up to the end. The two: umakoti and umkhwenyana have no say what so ever in the whole negotiation process. We must remember that, it is only the elders that can represent the Amathongo and not the youngsters.

Where Twala says the elders communicate with the ancestors when lobolo is paid does not happen at the beginning, but that is a different process which happens during the acceptance time and also during the wedding time.

Lobolo is a problem in our era because we do not have people who have a clear know how of what it is, and why was it or is it still being practiced. Lobolo, has more value that just a mere practice. We must always put it into a context whenever we talk about lobolo, and not just discuss it in isolation.

Today we are confusing ilobolo, which are cattle and izibizo which is just goods – , and something else. It is these izibizo where people start doing their gambling, which is conducted very badly.