What Has Become Of Our Youth?

We are growing up in a society that has NO respect for self and others.

We are growing in a society that has no respect for culture, tradition and most importantly, no respect for elders...  I am not trying to make a generalization here, I am well aware that there are many people who respect themselves, their culture and tradition and the elderly, but I am speaking of the ones that don’t. Why don’t they? And what happened in their life that they don’t see why this is wrong? Western influence? I'd like to believe so....

30 years from today I see a country that is filled with black folks  that have lil respect or no respect, i see our culture disappearing into thin air because we have chosen to live like white people, do as they do, forgetting that they have maintained respect for their beliefs, customs etc, but hey we still wanna be live them. 

As a Zulu man, i have grown into a culture that preaches respect as one of the main survival strategies in life, other tribes as well have grown the same, but now we have chosen to disregard the way we were brought up and live like the Jones because we now believe that our culture is outdated. White people tell  us that your culture is outdated  and we agree, Instead of defending your culture you oppose it.

I feel sad for our humanity every day and maybe I am making too much into this but am I? I feel sad every time i see a 18 year old not being able to read or write his own language. I feel sad every time I see a young man disrespecting an elderly man on the streets,  When did respect for the elderly stop? What has happened in this young man’s life that he wouldn’t allow an elderly, frail, woman to get in front of him in line. Why did it anger him so much? This literally brings tears to my eyes.  

 The western civilization has taught us that slaughtering a cow for a certain ceremony is barbaric. BARBARIC...and because they have said so we see fit that we must abolish our way of life and blend in with their way of "civilization"... 

Our black youth serves the white man well--he represents, speaks for and defends the white man. The black youth has been  designed to influence white opinion on the black man. The white man has local tools, national tools of our young black youth,  because he “speaks well”, he doesn’t sound like others, the fool smiles and agrees with white man, the white man tells him that his culture is barbaric,  the fool smiles and agrees with the white man.

400 years later we see the real truth of how the white man brainwashed the black man, kept him ignorant of his true history, robbed him of his self-confidence. “The white man is interested in the black man only to the extent that the black man is of use to him.” In our own country we have been relegated to second-class citizenship, because our youth has lost all respect.

Why not change all our surnames to "X"? Because we have little or no identity left.

A great man, Malcom X once said: " We must learn to become our own producers, manufacturers and traders; we must have industry of our own, to employ our own. The white man resists this because he wants to keep the black man under his thumb and jurisdiction in white society. He wants to keep the black man always dependent and begging--for jobs, food, clothes, shelter, education. The white man doesn't want to lose somebody to be supreme over. He wants to keep the black man where he can be watched and retarded. Mr. Muhammad teaches that as soon as we separate from the white man, we will learn that we can do without the white man just as he can do without us. The white man knows that once black men get off to themselves and learn they can do for themselves, the black man's full potential will explode and he will surpass the white man. 

We are a generation that buys the most expensive clothes and cars and eat the cheapest food. 

Never forget where you come from....

[ BLACKS PLEASE READ !!! - This is sad!]

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in a book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprint to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along), but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal. Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).

Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it. Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.

They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, And they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them "Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.

They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.

With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success. However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Their so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community. 

They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness? They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM). They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.

Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!

Written by:
Dee Lee, CFP Harvard Financial Educators 

iLobolo

The first critical question is Why Lobola? Lobola is not the way we are taking it today and it was never meant to be what we are thinking of today. 

Ilobolo is cattle (regardless of number) paid by umkhwenyana for his umakoti. It is various cattle with their specific names and functions paid to the father and also to the mother of their daughter.

These cattle are a sign of pride and showing that ‘your daughter will never starve when she joins the family.’ It is ubumnumzane of the umkhwenyane’s father, that we are not that poor. Secondly, it is a token to the Amathongo (ancestors) that isibaya is growing, and as it grows it will create strong umuzi for them (amathongo). That is why these cows have various names and meaning. They are as follows:

·         Ubikibiki – This cow is given to the mother by umkhwenyana.

·         Ubhaqa – The cow given to the umakoti’s father in order to light the way

·         Umqholiso/Ingquthu – The cow given to the mother of umakoti.

·         Umumba – Cow also given to the Makoti’s mother, but part of the ilobolo

·         Imvulamlomo/Ingqaqhamazinyo – cow given to the father in order for him to talk to the abakhongi (people sent to pay lobola)

·         Imvula – is the cow that gets mentioned first before even paying the ilobolo.

·         Unozungeza – Part of ilobolo

·         Inhlabisamthimba – the cow that gets slaughtered on the wedding day

·         Isibhoma – cow that also get slaughtered on the wedding day.

·         Ibheka – additional cow.

(Remember that these cows in some other areas are all collectively called AMABHEKA)

The other two cattle just accompany these cows; hence we say (Umakoti akaqedwa). That is why people do not pay all the ilobolo, because of the belief that one day umkhwenyana will be of help to the family (umkhwernyana isiphuzi sokuhquzula)

ILOBOLO PROCESS

Ilobolo is a two way process. It is the process governed by the amathongo, as the belief is that to have people coming and initiate ilobolo is a gift from the ancestors. Umakoti is a gift to umkhwenyana and his family to such an extent that the belief is that umakoti is not yours as umkhwenyana but is for your father. Also on the side of umkhwenyana, you are unmkhwenyana of the izalukazi zase mzini.

Ilobolo is an issue between the two families. The first person who happens to know that there will be abakhongi (representatives from the umkhwenyana) coming, is the mother of the daughter. The father is always kept in the dark all the time. He will see people sweeping the yard, doing all the cleaning, but he will never ask.

On that selected day, abakhongi will arrive early in the morning and shout at the gate by saying ‘sizocela isihlobo esihle’. It will be then where the father will know for the first time. But, even though, he will never attend to those people alone, but will call his brothers, and the neighbours to come and listen. When abakhongi are shouting they will be mentioning these cows, by their size, their gender and their colors. When inside the house they will be asked to repeat what they have been saying.

The first cow that will be requested will be iMvulamlomo for the father. It is only then when the father will start talking. The father will call all his daughters and ask the abakhongi to point at the woman, once that is done, and then negotiations will start.

The elders will carry this work until up to the end. The two: umakoti and umkhwenyana have no say what so ever in the whole negotiation process. We must remember that, it is only the elders that can represent the Amathongo and not the youngsters.

Where Twala says the elders communicate with the ancestors when lobolo is paid does not happen at the beginning, but that is a different process which happens during the acceptance time and also during the wedding time.

Lobolo is a problem in our era because we do not have people who have a clear know how of what it is, and why was it or is it still being practiced. Lobolo, has more value that just a mere practice. We must always put it into a context whenever we talk about lobolo, and not just discuss it in isolation.

Today we are confusing ilobolo, which are cattle and izibizo which is just goods – , and something else. It is these izibizo where people start doing their gambling, which is conducted very badly.

Should Men Carry Women’s Handbag?

It’s pretty simple….The answer is NO NO NO!!!

And NO questions should be asked thereafter as to why………IT’S A WOMEN’S BAG, why must he carry it for you? If it’s heavy…..it’s heavy with your stuff.

Being a gentleman is one thing, but i don’t think carrying a women’s handbag is being a gentleman. In any scenario, a women’s handbag must be carried by a women at all times. 

I personally refuse to carry such a bag and I’ll always be man enough to say NO when she asks me too, what’s next ima be buying sanitary pads for her now?

Abafazi basigibela emakhanda nje noba nathi siyabavumele, indoda manje ayisenasithunzi – ngenxa yokuthi amadoda amanje akusemadoda sekwaba utwayi nje lemnqolo, ogumbetsheni, oma choba iyntwala zonina.

Ladies, if you don’t like handbags, rather not buy them, what’s the point of buying a nice expensive handbag if it’s gonna end up being carried by a guy?

But again there’re situation where by your girl is trying some outfit in the fitting room, then common sense, take care of the handbag for her. And that shouldn’t be a habit as well; she can take her handbag to the fitting room.

Ladies, never allow a man to carry your handbag, even if he offers, you woman enough to know that NO MAN shall carry a woman’s bag, If you’ll are fine with this thing of men carrying handbags, You probably deserve each other you bumbling fools.

MEN WHO CARRY WOMEN’S HANDBAGS ARE PATHETIC…

Your thoughts?

Question To Ask on a First Date: Are you in a relationship?

Seems obvious, but these days you never know. You don’t wanna end up in a situation where, after 3 or 4 months of seeing somebody you find out he’s in a relationship. As men, we’re idiots. 
Our whole goal is usually to tell you as little as we possibly can about ourselves. Sometimes this includes disclosing in full our relationship status. We might say stuff like, “oh, I didn’t think it mattered since we’re just kicking it,” or “She’s not really my girl, we broke up, we’re just living together for financial reasons – she’s really my ex though.” This is all stuff some of us only share if you ask because some of us are shady bastards. So just come right out and ask – if we lie and you believe us – at least you asked

The Mama’s Boy

There’s absolutely nothing worse than a dude with an unhealthy attachment to his mom. It’s one thing to love your mom, it’s one thing to be really close to your mom, it’s another thing entirely to expect or need every woman you’re with to be your mom.


 At some point the umbilical cord needs to be cut and a man needs to strike out on his own and learn to take care of himself. Unless you’re ready to be a parent, avoid mamas boys.

The Whore in You.

Welcome to the Brothel of Social media whores

I was abit sceptical about writing this but hey the more controvesial the better.

Deep inside we all have someone we lust after thinking it in secret. No lets not fool each other in the public eye and hide the fact that we all have that whore inside of us, if you have not unleashed it trust me it is yet to come....|

It’s small things that we say as a joke that actually show the whoreness in us – because if given a chance to act on those thoughts you’d probably do it.

And lately there’s this “He/She can get it” trend – where girls see a handsome guy and say “he can get it” – given an opportuinity she’d probably  give away the cookie, leyo imicabango yobufebe.  We all have our weaknesses, the whoreness in you is triggered.

Guys see every hot girl and say she can get it – and he tells her by tagging her on Twitter – she blushes – they go to DM – later BBM – later phone calls and last you are given directions.

Lust is a battle for all of us. Some may act on it. And some may not.  There needs to bee a balance with intent and focus.

The whoreness in you will sleep with a guy/girl because she is pretty or he is handsome.

With guys, it is said that we have sexual fantasies about 80% of hot girls we come across. We’re just to dirty.

These whores roam the streets like nuns -  they roam the twirra streets like angels. But we know which guys are whores and which girls are.

Twitter which has since become a brothel of social networkwhores, there’s a trend Smash or Pass trending almost everyday,  someone has to be smashed or passed.  People are openly admitting that bengafeba nobani nobani  and so on....we see it as a joke yes but the whoreness in you will take over if there is no balance between intent and focus....

The whore in you will use your body attract all hungry males and later call them horny bastards if they compliment you on your appereance.  Guys have since started  this thing of posting their abs as avatars and you see convos between the girls and i’m  like “damn wasn’t  she acting all righteous yesterday now “he can get it”

The whore in you would sleep with a guy because he smells good and dresses well, now you won’t be able to control the whore in you because you had intent before he thought of sleeping with you.

Twitter just happens to be the perfect portal for social/shallow sluts—who can strut their stuff — 140 characters at a time. 

Control your whore-mones

PLEASE NOTE I’M NOT ONLY TALKING ABOUT GIRLS HERE, BEFORE SOME OF YOU CALL ME NAMES.